Joke Thread

[Enyone]

Originally posted by Donutos@Nov 18 2005, 03:38 PM
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"

:angry:

 

[dascoot]

Shut up, you know you love stories about Texas foreskin.

 

[Enyone]

:annoyed:

 

[dascoot]

:lol: I love that face.

 

[Enyone]

<_< ''typical texas baby'' my ass

 

[Donutos]

haha, i'm not from texas anyways, my roommate told me that one

 

[dascoot]

Where are you from Donutos? You've told us surprisingly little about yourself and this is very unsatisfactory.

 

[Donutos]

i'm from baltimore, but i go to school at tulane in new orleans, but now i'm at hopkins cuz hurricanes blow, but i go back to tulane in january...oh yeah and i'm 19

i'll make a movie of it

 

[dascoot]

K sweet, do that. I'll be in the shower, let me know when it's done.

 

[Donutos]

:lol: well yeah that's me i guess, i didn't really know it was common to give some background...my bad

 

[dascoot]

Silly boy, perhaps you've seen the INTRODUCTION FORUM?

My fingers are prune-y.

 

[Donutos]

i stayed in commercials for my first 30-40 posts

 

[dascoot]

And now you've been chained to the wall down here in the basement. :devil:

 

[Enyone]

*cracks whip*

:lol: confession, I crack up everytime Nemos' dad tries to tell his joke, I'm like omg this is realy funny

 

[Sir_Garland]

Tulane? We just played you guys this past weekend. Tulsa I mean.

 

[Donutos]

i hope you won, we blow hard...though the navy game a few weeks ago was quite a show of our tailgating team

 

[Sir_Garland]

They did win actually but trust me we've gone through many years of sucking and just recently have moved up to not completely sucking.

 

[Sir_Garland]

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for
a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman,
salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher
prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in
a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they
put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will
go home with some guy and make love with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask
him,

"Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is
helping to secure the nomination of Hillary Clinton for president, but I was
too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

 

[Donutos]

:lol:

 

[dascoot]

Originally posted by Sir_Garland@Dec 13 2005, 01:35 PM
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Republican National Committee and is
helping to secure the nomination of Jeb Bush for president, but I was
too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

There I fixed it. k: