Deep Thoughts

[dascoot]

If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.

 

[dascoot]

If trees could scream, do you think we would be so cavalier as to cut them down? Maybe if they screamed all the time for no good reason.

 

[ledzepgrl]

I remember the first time I ever saw a shooting star I said, "What the hell is that?" But nowadays when I see one I just say, "What is that?" I leave off the "hell" part. Maybe when I'm old I'll just say, "Whazzit?"

 

[leone]

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
:lol: :lol:

 

[dascoot]

^ :lol: :lol:

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

 

[dascoot]

For Leone and Staci:

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

 

[leone]

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

 

[dascoot]

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, "What was that?!"

 

[leone]

Originally posted by dascoot@Mar 23 2006, 11:04 PM
Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

:lol: :lol: Yeah!


The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

 

[ledzepgrl]

Originally posted by dascoot@Mar 23 2006, 11:04 PM
"so what, can't we all be brothers?"

:lol: :lol:


In all the time I was growing up, I only saw Dad cry two times. After the first time, I didn't say anything. But after the second time I left a note on his dresser that said "See a psychiatrist." I don't know if he ever did, but at least I didn't see him cry again.

 

[ledzepgrl]

When my cousin Billy came and stayed at our house for a week, at first everything seemed okay. But then I started noticing things were missing. The first thing was a bag of garbage we kept under the kitchen sink. Then the piles of ashes and butts in the ashtrays. Then all the weeds in the yard. I never said anything to him, but we never invited him back.

 

[leone]

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

 

[ledzepgrl]

:lol: :lol: :lol:



I remember the time I asked Grandpa what he did in the war. At first he didn't say anything. Then he pulled a frozen T-bone steak from under his shirt. "I stole this," he said. "No," I said, "not the store, the war." He showed me a red mark on his stomach and said he was wounded, but I think it was from the T-bone.

 

[dascoot]

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he has a beautiful rose in his beak. And also he is carrying a very beautiful painting in his feet. And also, you're drunk.

 

[dascoot]

I bet a real big problem in Yodeling class is people just coming and yodeling right off the bat. You see, we build to that.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit the high notes I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

 

[ledzepgrl]

There used to be this bully who would demand my lunch money every day. Since I was smaller, I would give it to him. But then I decided to fight back. I started taking karate lessons. But then the karate lesson guy said I had to start paying him five dollars a lesson. So I just went back to paying the bully. Before I paid him, though, I would go into my karate stance, because that's all I learned before I got kicked out.

 

[leone]

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

 

[ledzepgrl]

One weird thing that happened to me was one time I was in a plane that was landing and I suddenly stood up and yelled, "The plane's going to crash! The plane's going to crash!" The stewardess told me to sit down and be quiet, so I did. The plane landed okay, but as we were all going to get our bags, I started yelling, "Our bags aren't going to be there! They're not gonna be there!" But they were, even Strappy. So I rented one of those metal carts to put your bags on, and guess that happened? I crashed into another guy's cart. So that's pretty weird, isn't it?

 

[dascoot]

:lol: :lol:

 

[leone]

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that you got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.