The funniest thing I've seen today

hahahahshsappojadsjpo;osadsoalds i can't even TYPEW!!! *deep breaths*

:lol: :lol: :lol: :cry:
 
"The song played from many ice cream trucks was originally written by Vin Diesel to lure Hansel and Gretel into his gingerbread house."

"Vin Diesel invented Instant Messaging in order to have cyber sex with Princess Diana. Years later she would block his screen name while in Paris, and, well, you know the rest..."

"Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it."

"While in the Arabian Desert, Vin Diesel came upon a Genie. When he heard that he was only allowed three wishes, Vin Diesel kicked the Genie in the groin and swallowed the lamp."

i am addicted i swear
 
Hahah swallowed the lamp.. yeah I switched it back over to the Chuck Norris ones, those are great too.

Are you watching Arrested Development?
 
Aww. :( I love this show. I have a headache from laughing for like the last 2 hours straight. :lol:
 
yeah my friend is obsessed with the quote "this kind of agility?" :lol:

i'll have some catching up to do once i start watching again
 
Originally posted by Donutos@Dec 5 2005, 08:23 PM
yeah my friend is obsessed with the quote "this kind of agility?" :lol:
Wait, I'm lost, what's this ^ from?
 
"Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away."

"Chuck Norris appeared in the 'Street Fighter II' video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this 'glitch,' Norris replied, 'That's no glitch.' "

"Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day."

"Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days."

"It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart."
 
Originally posted by dascoot+Dec 5 2005, 08:30 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (dascoot @ Dec 5 2005, 08:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Donutos@Dec 5 2005, 08:23 PM
yeah my friend is obsessed with the quote "this kind of agility?" :lol:
Wait, I'm lost, what's this ^ from? [/b][/quote]
arrested developement, can't remember the scene
 
:lol: those chuck norris ones are funny, time for me to waste an hour on those now :D
 
I ain't even looked at the Mr. T ones. I have a feeling they won't be quite as good though..
 
"Chuck Norris likes to dress up in a "Barney" suit and visit the local kintergardens. When the happy little children ask Chuck to sing a song he roundhouse kicks the shit out of them, removes his mask, and says, "I'm not a jukebox, you little fucker."

"if god had a favorite color it would be Chuck Norris"

"Chuck Norris ended the Never-ending Story...because Chuck Norris doesn't believe in reading."

"Tornados are not caused by sudden changes in weather, but rather, a sudden roundhouse by Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris messed with Texas once, but Texas fought back. Knowing he could never defeat Texas, Chuck Norris pledged his loyalty to the Lone Star State. Texas tought him the ways of the roundhouse kick and slow motion action sequences."

"If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list."

i am torn between vin and chuck
 
<_< Hmm.. not as good, the best ones I've seen so far are:

"Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland."

"23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence."

"Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it."

"Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway."

"There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk."

"Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday."

"Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it."

"Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him."

"Mr. T puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'."

"Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain."

"Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba. "

"One day when Mr. T was just a little T doing push-ups on the schoolyard, he heard some kids singing "I'm a little tea-pot." Thinking those kids were tarnishing his reputation by associating T and pot, mini Mr. T proceeded to rip off the kids' handles and dislocate their spouts before tipping them over and knocking them out. "

^ From the Top 30. :lol:
 
aw hell yeah i wonder if they can do that for a built in nav system...i would get a kip dynamite one :D :P
 
Originally posted by Donutos@Dec 5 2005, 09:17 PM
aw hell yeah i wonder if they can do that for a built in nav system...i would get a kip dynamite one :D :P
Hahah shit yeah! I want one with an adjustable accent. :wub:
 
Back
Top