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The funniest thing I've seen today
- Thread starter MeganJane
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drizzt_fan14
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:lol:
Sir_Garland
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:lol: That's funny.
leone
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Sir_Garland
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Well, I'm sure she wears the pants in that relationship. :lol:
Sir_Garland
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:lol:
Sir_Garland
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During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her
students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a
prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to
the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies "Wait a minute, I'm going for a pee"
The teacher says : "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in
a minute."
The teacher says : "That's much better but to mention the word
''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go
shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to
introduce to you after dinner. "
students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a
prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to
the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies "Wait a minute, I'm going for a pee"
The teacher says : "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in
a minute."
The teacher says : "That's much better but to mention the word
''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go
shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to
introduce to you after dinner. "
Sir_Garland
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That kid was probably Andy. :lol:
michelle
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Hahah no, "boob" was always funny.. but I must say, this ^ kills me dead because if she's a man then :lol: :lol: :lol: @ Andy. [/b][/quote]
dammit, what is wrong with me? :lol: I see a dumb photo of dubya and completely lose all ability to write or think.
Sir_Garland
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I don't know if this has been posted before or not but I laugh every time I get this email:
Why females should avoid a girls night after they are married:
>
> The other night I was invited out for a night with "the
> girls."
> I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well,
> the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
> around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got
> in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
> Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I
> cuckooed another 9 times.
> I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a
> quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a
> possible
> conflict with him.
> The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
> told him Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away
> with that one!
> Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
>
> When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock
> cuckooed three times, then it said, "Oh shit.", cuckooed 4 more times,
> cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice
more,
> and
> then tripped over the coffee table and farted"
Why females should avoid a girls night after they are married:
>
> The other night I was invited out for a night with "the
> girls."
> I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well,
> the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
> around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got
> in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
> Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I
> cuckooed another 9 times.
> I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a
> quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a
> possible
> conflict with him.
> The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
> told him Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away
> with that one!
> Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
>
> When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock
> cuckooed three times, then it said, "Oh shit.", cuckooed 4 more times,
> cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice
more,
> and
> then tripped over the coffee table and farted"
Sir_Garland
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Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems
> that always sound sweet
> and good, but never actually come close to reality?
> Well, here is a series
> of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
>
> 1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
> plot revenge against the
> sorry bastard who made you sad.
>
> 2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge
> whatever is choking you.
>
> 3. When you smile - I will know you finally got
> laid.
>
> 4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it
> every chance I get.
>
> 5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
> stories about how much
> worse it could be and to quit whining.
>
> 6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
>
> 7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me
> until you are well again.
> I don't want whatever you have.
>
> 8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your
> clumsy ass.
>
> This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You
> may ask, because you
> are my friend.
> that always sound sweet
> and good, but never actually come close to reality?
> Well, here is a series
> of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
>
> 1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
> plot revenge against the
> sorry bastard who made you sad.
>
> 2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge
> whatever is choking you.
>
> 3. When you smile - I will know you finally got
> laid.
>
> 4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it
> every chance I get.
>
> 5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
> stories about how much
> worse it could be and to quit whining.
>
> 6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
>
> 7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me
> until you are well again.
> I don't want whatever you have.
>
> 8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your
> clumsy ass.
>
> This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You
> may ask, because you
> are my friend.
that's not very nice.....but funny 
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