Occasional Horoscope

[leone]

Originally posted by givemfitz@May 15 2007, 06:13 PM
I had a 17 hour day yesterday so gimmee a break.

Well that's what you get for being responsible and having a job! :angry:

 

[givemfitz]

:lol: :lol: If you only knew :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[leone]

Were you doing something else? Did Tiffany find you? :lol: :lol:

 

[givemfitz]

Noooooooo. It was work related but I won't go into it here. Long story short.......A noob white shirt needed a few things explained to him so we had a little meeting this morning that required me to stay after work loooooooooooong past my bedtime.

 

[leone]

Did you skool 'im old skool? :leela:

 

[givemfitz]

Yepper :lol: :lol:

He's either at home kicking the dog or curled up in the fetal position sucking his thumb with his head in his wifes lap.

 

[leone]

Then the dog's gonna bite him, which'll cause more fetal position crying. :lol:

 

[givemfitz]

You've often wondered who's responsible for all this fucked-up shit, but that will change today, when you're hired to assist the Director of All This Fucked-Up Shit.

 

[givemfitz]

Your local EMTs have a hard, gritty, often tragic life, broken up only by their hilarious weekly calls to your combination distillery and chimp farm.

'Cause drunk monkeys are funny.

 

[leone]

:lol: :lol: Speaking of local EMTs, one just tried to run me over. :leela:

 

[givemfitz]

You'll finally break the endlessly mounting tension at work when you cause the rollback of that aggravating "days without an accident" sign.

 

[givemfitz]

You'll find it hard to live a normal life for the next couple months, during which it will suddenly and inexplicably become fashionable to jump motorcycles over you.

 

[givemfitz]

You will make headlines today when scientists around the world come to praise you as a true trailblazer in the field of Bio-Engineering soon after the unveiling of your backyard meat tree experiment.

 

[leone]

:lol: Oh, I want my very own cheeburder tree!

 

[givemfitz]

You make headlines for the second day in a row when, to your surprise, your meat tree experiment produces a harvest of ready made cheeburders which soon attract the unanticipated attention of scavengers and you find it necessary to simultaneously ward off circling vultures, noisy crows, pesky badgers and a down on his luck Ronald McDonald seeking a comeback to his former popularity.

 

[leone]

Oh hell no! :mellow: The clown will be first. *loads shotgun*

 

[givemfitz]

The appearance of your obituary in todays paper is proof that you haven't been paying as much attention as you'd thought.

 

[leone]

:lol: :lol: I'm saving this one.

 

[givemfitz]

You've always stressed the importance of manners, but you don't think they need to prevent anyone from killing those who bring more than 15 items to the express checkout.

 

[givemfitz]

It's true that secret agents have crossed international borders with microfilm hidden in their colons, but you should've known better than to try it with live chinchillas.