Joke Thread

[dascoot]

You crazy ozzies and your dick-removing situations.

 

[sketchyrx]

The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong:

* I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

* Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

* Gun wounds again?

* Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

* A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

* Darn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken.

* Take my advice, or I'll spank you a lot.

* Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

* This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your toenails and leave them out on the dessert floor for ants to eat.

* Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

* I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

 

[dascoot]

Originally posted by sketchyrx@Mar 27 2006, 04:54 AM
* Take my advice, or I'll spank you a lot.

:lol: :lol:

Here's my advice: Spank me a lot.

 

[ledzepgrl]

Originally posted by sketchyrx@Mar 27 2006, 04:54 AM
* Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

* Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

* Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[leone]

Originally posted by dascoot+Mar 27 2006, 05:38 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (dascoot @ Mar 27 2006, 05:38 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-sketchyrx@Mar 27 2006, 04:54 AM
* Take my advice, or I'll spank you a lot.

:lol: :lol:

Here's my advice: Spank me a lot. [/b][/quote]
Yes ma'am! :naughty:

 

[dascoot]

*steepled fingers* Exxxcellent. :devil:

 

[leone]

Broom closet in 15?

 

[dascoot]

*already there*

 

[leone]

:woo:

Forgot the paddle. :naughty:

 

[dascoot]

I like bare handed the best.

 

[leone]

*chucks paddle*

 

[dascoot]

*locks closet door* :naughty:

 

[leone]

:woo: :naughty:

 

[Sir_Garland]

*slides webcam under door*

 

[leone]

Get that out of here. The camera adds 10 pounds!

:lol:

 

[dascoot]

That's just more to love.

 

[leone]

:lol:

:naughty: :wub:

 

[Sir_Garland]

*austin powers voice* yeah baby!

 

[Sir_Garland]

While walking through the Northern California woods a man came up to
another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing
this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?
"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..."
So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.
With this the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his
wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed
to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?"
He told the guy the whole story about how he got there. When he finished
telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around
behind him, kissed him behind the ear and said,
"This just isn't gonna be your day..."

 

[rewep]

A priest and a rabi are walking through the park when they come across a little boy flying a kite.
The priest turn to the rabi and says "Let's fuck him."
The rabi replies with "Out of what? All he has is a kite."

Snap












I think I've probably already told this one in this very thread. But I was too lazy to look.