Family Guy Star Wars

Okay, next, let's rewrite the climactic battle scene for Chris-Luke and Stewie-Vader...

Vader knocks Luke to the floor.

Vader: You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Britney Spears did.

Luke swats away Vader's lightsaber and gets up. His own saber grazes Vader's shoulder.

Vader: Ooh! [BLEEP!]

Vader cuts off Luke's forearm.

Luke: Ahh! My favorite arm!

Vader: There is no escape. Except for the one large escape all around you, which I hope you will not notice.

Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can increase my approval rating in the galaxy.

Luke: What is it now?

Vader: Zero.

Luke: I'll never join you!

Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side! Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough. He told me you're my father.

Vader: No. I am your father.

Luke: That's what I said, Mister Vader.

Vader: Oh, well, then, I guess he did tell you what happened.

Luke: No. That's not true. That's impossible!

Vader: Search your MySpace! You know it to be true!

Luke: Noooo! No!

Vader: Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and I will put you in my top eight!