The funniest thing I've seen today

[ledzepgrl]

I :heart: the "Fuck You, Slow Bastard" one :lol:

 

[ledzepgrl]

Fruitcake Lady Part 3 :lol: :lol:

 

[Sir_Garland]

A young blonde woman in St. Louis was so depressed that she decided to endher life by throwing herself into the Mississippi River.






She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying.





He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.





I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."



The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose?



Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.



That night, the sail or brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her sandwiches and fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.





Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.



"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.



"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.

"I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."





"He certainly is," the captain said.



"This is the Casino Queen, and we never leave St. Louis."

 

[Bloodlessr]

Served.

 

[Magilune]

:lol:

 

[leone]

Click

 

[Sir_Garland]

:huh: *stands in awe*

 

[leone]

:lol: They were just randomly there. h34r:

 

[Sir_Garland]

A mother and her 5 yr old son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas
City to Chicago.

The son (who had been looking out the window) Turned to his mother and
asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't
Big planes have baby planes?"

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, Told her son to ask the
stewardess.

So the boy walks to the galley and asks the stewardess, "If big dogs have
baby dogs and Big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes Have baby
planes?"

The stewardess responded, "Did your mother Tell you to ask me?"

The boy said, "Yes, she did...."

"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no Baby planes because
Southwest always pulls out On time. Have your mother explain that to you.

 

[dascoot]

cleek! :wub:

 

[Sir_Garland]

That's cute.

Got this in a bulletin:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!

 

[leone]

:lol: :lol: :naughty:

 

[Sir_Garland]

I've seen this before and so I'm sure you guys have too but it's always nice to have a good laugh.

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas
Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like
alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As
bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did anything wrong. Jack had to
force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of
aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a
single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all
clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the
aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the
bathroom mirro! r. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the
mirror
written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick!
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make
you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian He
stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming
hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the
hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so
clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His
son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to
take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken Coffee Table $89.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time....PRICELESS!!!

 

[leone]

:lol: :lol: First time I've seen it.

 

[ledzepgrl]

Originally posted by dascoot@Mar 29 2006, 05:03 PM
cleek! :wub:

Bebe :wub: :wub:

 

[ledzepgrl]

hahaha :lol:

 

[rewep]

Highly graphic porn blooper. You have been warned.

 

[Sir_Garland]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[dascoot]

I think there might be a series of those, I've seen another one where the guy gets the camera man.. they both seem a little staged.. but still very k:.

 

[ledzepgrl]

Here ya go, Andy :lol: