The funniest thing I've seen today

[Sir_Garland]

Omg!!! They have that there too??? I almost did that last year but I had to work on the nights that they had them. I want to soooo bad. I think that would be so much fun!!!

 

[MeganJane]

Yup! It's the same trapeze school Carrie went to on Sex and the City!! I'm so excited, and so nervous!

 

[Sir_Garland]

I know you will have tons of fun. You will have to post all about it in your blog. And bring someone with to take pics!

 

[Magilune]

Originally posted by Sir_Garland@Apr 4 2005, 01:55 PM
18. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[leone]

Got this email the other day. It's a cross between the Joke thread and the Fact of the day thread...



If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death! (Creepy)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm...)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

 

[Magilune]

:lol:

 

[Sir_Garland]

Nice to know. :lol:

 

[Sir_Garland]

Here's another email I got:

WIFE:
"What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND:
"Definitely not!"

WIFE:
"Why not, don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND:
"Of course I do."

WIFE:
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND:
"Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE:
"You would"? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND:
(Makes audible groan).

WIFE:
"Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND:
"Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE:
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND:
"Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE:
"Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND:
"Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE:
"Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND:
"That would seem like the proper thing to do"

WIFE:
"Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND:
"No, she's left-handed."

WIFE:
Silence...
HUSBAND:
"OH Shit."

 

[leone]

:lol: :lol:

 

[leone]

Road Sign

 

[Sir_Garland]

:lol: Even funnier. I just realized where that sign is located.

 

[Sir_Garland]

> Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona
> when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As
> the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the
Navajo
> woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got
> into the car.
>
>
> Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
> the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at
> everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a
brown
> bag on the seat next to Sally.
>
>
> "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown
> bag and said," It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
>
>
> The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking With
> the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."

 

[Enyone]

I dont get it?

 

[Enyone]

Originally posted by michelle@Apr 4 2005, 12:56 AM
i hope you weren't sitting on the toilet and making calls... that's just wrong.

I did :blink:

 

[ad-rock]

Originally posted by Sir_Garland@Apr 6 2005, 02:43 PM
It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."

Ha! :lol:

 

[Sir_Garland]

Enyone, she traded her husband for a bottle of wine.

 

[Magilune]

This is stupid but it makes me laugh. :lol:

 

[dascoot]

Hmm.. different names, but those voices sound suspiciously like the guys from Homestar Runner.

 

[manintights89]

sounds like a case for ............................ SOMEONE ELSE

 

[leone]

http://www.ahajokes.com/crt411.html :lol: