Should I contact her? (advice needed)

[Bloodlessr]

Anthony is nuts. If you never have sex ur gonna die bro, it will literally killlllll you, dead.

 

[dascoot]

Don't be a smartass Garret.

 

[Bloodlessr]

I pretty sure hes already dead, Melissa.

 

[dascoot]

Eat shit and die.

 

[Bloodlessr]

I dont wanna.

 

[ActuarialMadness]

Conclusion.

Approximately 5 years after I last said a word to her and 2.4 years after I made this thread, I found her. Finally. Over the past two years, the dreams occurred with much less frequency although would still burrow their way deep into the far limits of my conscious like a horde of insidious, parasitic worms. I dreamt of this day for over 5 years and never really thought it would happen, instead imagining her beautiful, perfect, angelic face would haunt me until I take my last breath. That one dream of her lying dead, staring up at me with those huge, deep blue eyes - vacant of vitality. Another where we were stuck in a raging blizzard and acquiesced to our doomed fate, lying down on the frigid ground together, embracing and then drifting off into a deep sleep....

No, those will never come to pass. Instead, I am blessed with pictures of engagement rings and wedding photos of a glorious occassion where not even the darkest shadow can penetrate the radiant bursting waves of joy and merriment. A pang of jealousy and regret sting me as I see her passions so aligned with my own. The countless backpacking trips and mountain hikes with her lover, up paths my own two feet traveled not even a month prior. Even though there are lines under the eyes that were silky smoothe when I caressed and kissed that face, the vigor and spunk is all there with not even a drop siphoned away by her 29 years of age.

Goodbye, Courntey. You'll never speak nor hear me but I want you to know that I'm glad you found happiness, and even though the selfish side of me wishes I was in his place, I know that look on your face and know I'd never be able to continually give you that tranquility. Thank you for assuaging my greatest fear. I can now finally rest without being tormented by my self-constructed guilt.

 

[a_iver]

sorry dude.

ps i am still alive GARRET
lol

 

[ActuarialMadness]

No, It's a good thing. I feel like I finally have closure.

 

[dascoot]

I know what you mean about that closure. The only thing keeping me from 100% happiness with my fiance and our new life together is the fact that my ex husband refuses to contact me.

I don't want him back, and pretty much didn't want him back from the second he asked for the divorce, but I wanted to stay a part of his life so I could see how he was, how his family was, etc. I dream about him constantly and it's messing with my head.



Anthony are you saying you finally got laid??

 

[ActuarialMadness]

I know what you mean about that closure. The only thing keeping me from 100% happiness with my fiance and our new life together is the fact that my ex husband refuses to contact me.

I don't want him back, and pretty much didn't want him back from the second he asked for the divorce, but I wanted to stay a part of his life so I could see how he was, how his family was, etc. I dream about him constantly and it's messing with my head.

Dascoot,

Is your ex-husband the guy you were with when we last spoke ( I couldn't remember if you were married or just dating, but I remember there were problems)?

Those dreams suck and I don't know if they will ever fully go away as long as you're in the dark. They will get better with time though, almost every worrysome/stressful thing does.

 

[a_iver]

Anthony are you saying you finally got laid??

haha no i'm not saying that