funny joke

[BAMBAM]

Here is an oldy, but a goody.

There were these two guys hunting in the woods and one of the guys says to the other. Man i have to take a shit (sorry for the curse word) and the other guy says well, do you have a dollar and the man says yes. Then the other guy says to him to go over behind that bush and take care of your business. So the thoer man goes over behind the bush and is gone for about 10-15 minutes and when he returns he is covered in crap. The other amn aksed him what happened, i thought you said that you had a dollar. The man says yes i did,but have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 2 dimes, a nickel, and 3 quarters. Kinda of lame, but when you are drunk and there are other drunks around you when you are telling this joke it is hilarious.

 

[cchs08]

Originally posted by BAMBAM@Oct 3 2006, 10:06 PM
Here is an oldy, but a goody.

There were these two guys hunting in the woods and one of the guys says to the other. Man i have to take a shit (sorry for the curse word) and the other guy says well, do you have a dollar and the man says yes. Then the other guy says to him to go over behind that bush and take care of your business. So the thoer man goes over behind the bush and is gone for about 10-15 minutes and when he returns he is covered in crap. The other amn aksed him what happened, i thought you said that you had a dollar. The man says yes i did,but have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 2 dimes, a nickel, and 3 quarters. Kinda of lame, but when you are drunk and there are other drunks around you when you are telling this joke it is hilarious.

very true
the jokes u tell when ur drunk are hilarious even if they do suck
trust me i know from personal experience

 

[sketchyrx]

Originally posted by BAMBAM@Oct 3 2006, 07:06 PM
shit (sorry for the curse word)

You're in trouble now!!!

 

[dascoot]

So I'm reading cchs08's signature and I'm wodering if he stole it from some chick.

 

[cchs08]

Poor guy.....(mistaken identity or stereotype?)
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

 

[BAMBAM]

That was too FUNNY.. I LMAO.. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[cchs08]

check this 1 out

The Tiger
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

 

[cchs08]

this one is sure to crack you up

16 years later
One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.

Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.

So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.

When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.

16 years later

16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?"

"What?"

I pissed out a bullet.

So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.

Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet."

So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.

Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?"

The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."

"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"

 

[BAMBAM]

Originally posted by cchs08@Oct 5 2006, 08:01 PM
check this 1 out

The Tiger
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

Good one Bro. Not as funny as the one about the escaped convict though, but still funny.

 

[BAMBAM]

Originally posted by cchs08@Oct 5 2006, 08:04 PM
this one is sure to crack you up

16 years later
One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.

Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.

So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.

When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.

16 years later

16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?"

"What?"

I pissed out a bullet.

So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.

Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet."

So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.

Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?"

The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."

"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"

You were right... LMAO :lol: :lol: :lol: ..again.. Thanks, i am going to have to tell that one at work.

 

[dascoot]

It's like a forum full of Wil clones.

 

[leone]

To the fallout shelter! h34r:

 

[BAMBAM]

What? Wil clones? Did i miss something? :huh:

 

[BAMBAM]

Martin Luther King and the Fridge..

MLK wanted to be blessed by the Pope but he had been denied and wanted to get blessed by the Pope real bad, so he went to the Vatacan and with him he took Refrigerator Perry ( a former OL for Chicago). when they got to the Vatacan he told the frig to wait outside while he went into the Vatacan to find the Pope.
While MLK was in the Vatacan the frig started getting hungry, so he bulit a fire and started grabbing the pigeons that were flying around and started cooking and eating them. All of the sudden the Pope appears and then speaks to the frig and makes a cross (i guess a blessing or blessing him.. not sure), well anyway MLK meanwhile see's this and then goes running out of the Vatacan to speak with the Pope, but he is gone by the time he gets to the frig. MLK then asks the frig how did he get the Pope to bless him when he had been looking all over for him and had asked before but was denied. The frig then says well, he did not bless me. he quit taking the mf pigeons out the sky , put out the gd fire out, get your n friend and then get the hell off my property. It is more funny with a visual though, but i hope you can visualize what i have just typed.

 

[dascoot]

No I can't, but it sounds to be in extreme poor taste. Also nothing in that last sentence made any grammatical sense.

 

[SiDe]

what the hell is a frig!? :blink:

 

[dascoot]

He means a fridge. There was a football player years ago that was just this huge brick wall of a man and they called him "Refrigerator" Perry, or The Fridge for short.

 

[SiDe]

Speaking of fridges, here's a classic Oz-strayan joke from when I was a wee laddie.

Q: How do you get a koala out of a tree
A: Throw a fridge at it.



I never said it was a good joke.

 

[BAMBAM]

Sorry to all i did not mean to offend anyone. It was the only joke that i could think of at the time and as far as the grammatics the double and single letters are the beginning of one curse words and two a particular race. Again i am very sorry for even posting it.

 

[bambam0907]

I have deleted the joke.. again sorry. take that back, i thought that i had deleted the joke. Michelle or Jon could you please delete that joke about MLK and The Frig.