Jiffy Lube "classical" radio ads

[NeedsMusic]

Does anyone know where I can find lyrics to the Jiffy Lube commercials, mostly radio, from several years ago? (They were really funny!) They were set to classical music, like "The Barber of Seville," among others. My mom and I would crack up when we heard them, but now I'm beginning to wonder if they really existed, 'cause I can't find any record of them.

One starts out
"I just wish I'd gone to Jiffy Lube/'Cause I don't like hitching rides from motley dudes..."
and another has the line
"I'm agitated/and so is/My Cabriolet..."

Please, someone, tell me that they existed, at least--If that much is confirmed, I can rest easy tonight. I'd bow down to someone who gave me a link to the lyrics...

 

[StHawk]

I remember these jingles too. "I wish I would have gone to Jiffy Lube/ Then I wouldn't feel like such a boob"

 

[hermitmuffin]

I have scoured the internet for the last hour, and this post plus a brief reference in an old Washington Post article are the only evidence I can find of these ads! Any luck ever finding them?

They were so funny! I even had a few downloaded from Limewire back then, but no chance of finding those CDs now.

Lyrics I remember:

1 (The Blue Danube)
I'm sitting here/with no AC/I'm sweating like/a pig in heat

2 (Galop Infernal)
Win free gas until your car no longer lives upon this earth/Drive to Lima 60 times make sure you get your money's worth/Free gas makes me salivate/None for those who hesitate

 

[jca]

a brief reference in an old Washington Post article are the only evidence I can find of these ads

Do you have a link to the Washington Post article about the Jiffy Lube radio ads?

 

[hermitmuffin]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/arch...to-hate/599b19cc-7ff3-4eda-859a-80b4eec1a8ab/

"The oil-change chain is running several spots in which an actor monotones lyrics to bits of classical music, such as Johann Strauss's "Blue Danube" waltz. One reader called the ads "more annoying than chewing tinfoil with a mouthful of fillings." Vivid."

 

[kmusgrave]

Ran across this post looking for the year these commercials came out. Lyrics below (not sure where my father found them).

Tales from the Vienna Woods

I am rugged as can be ... I drive an SUV. I scale parking lot curbs at will ... I don't slow down for small road kill. But now my truck has blown a rod ... it can't scale Atlantic cod. My manhood's slipping away. Should have gone to Jiffy Lube ... they check and fill your gearbox too. More protection, for my man van. Six quarts of four by four blen ... ded synthetic motor oil. I feel naked without my testosterone truck.

Rigoletto

We love to travel in, our two-tone minivan. To tourist places, with mouse's faces. But now our minivan, is by a taco stand. Carro es muerto, no it will not go. If we used Jiffy Lube, this would not happen to Our poor family, where will our kids pee? We really could have used, Signature Service. Nowwww, we're stranded on the side of the road with four carsick children and a dog with gas … help me!

Barber of Seville

I'm on the tollway and I'm in the way My car broke down in the middle of my lunch shift. I'm agitated and so is my Cabrolet. Just because my brain lapsed and I forgot to get ... Signature Service At Jiffy Lube; they change your oil, they check your fluids, they do it all but buff your nails. People are staring, and rubbernecking Children have noses stuck against the car windows. If maybe I had just not bypassed Jiffy Lube, Then I might not be the one that is here on the shoulder with everyone staring at me with a run in my hose. I need to call someone to tow away this beater, I'm sure the driver's name will be something like "Skeeter". I'm about to start screaming if someone else yells "Yo baby"!

Blue Danube

I'm in my car ... with no AC. I'm sweating like ... a pig in fleece. I wish I'd gone ... to Jiffy Lube. They don't just do oil, they do air ... with leak checks, charge, and refrigerant. Getting hotter, where's a doctor. Now my belt buckle's branded me just below my navel. Give me ... iced tea ... Jiffy ... Lube.

William Tell

I need some oil and a wiper blade. It's raining dogs, and I can't see straight. To Jiffy Lube I should have gone. I have the I.Q. of a prawn. There's mud on my windshield ... I think I'm in a field. My legs feel like rubber... Tell my wife I love her. Jiffy Lube ... Jiffy Lube. What a dope. What a dope. I am. What a drag, what a drag this is. I did not get their Signature Service. They change your oil and wipers too. They just won't trim your Fu Manchu.

Nutcracker

I wish I had gone to Jiffy Lube, Cuz I don't like hitching rides with motley dudes. Now I'm in a pasture, freezing off my keister Looking at my engine that is smoking and convulsing while I'm cursing on my cell phone with my shoes in cow manure and uh I wish I had gone to Jiffy Lube, Then I wouldn't feel like a gigantic boob. It's not like some others. Run by deadbeat brothers. They have trained technicians with diplomas on the wall. Signature Service at Jiffy Lube, Oils and lubes, most everything except your hair. Complete care for your auto, the whole enchilado. Wish I'd gone each three thousand miles.