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Thread: Joke Thread

  1. #7
    Fukushima hybrid gopher givemfitz's Avatar
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    According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

    That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

    Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
    As I lay there gazing up at the billions of stars above my head in complete awe of creations beauty and vastness the most pressing question on my mind about the meaning of it all was, "Where in the hell is my roof?"

  2. #8
    Fukushima hybrid gopher givemfitz's Avatar
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    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: "THINK!"

    The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sink and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read: "THOAP!"
    As I lay there gazing up at the billions of stars above my head in complete awe of creations beauty and vastness the most pressing question on my mind about the meaning of it all was, "Where in the hell is my roof?"

  3. #9
    Fukushima hybrid gopher givemfitz's Avatar
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    Subject: Warning! A New Polish Virus
    Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2000
    Subject: Polish Virus

    This virus works on the honor system.

    Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward this message to everyone you know.
    As I lay there gazing up at the billions of stars above my head in complete awe of creations beauty and vastness the most pressing question on my mind about the meaning of it all was, "Where in the hell is my roof?"

  4. #10
    Fukushima hybrid gopher givemfitz's Avatar
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    Actual singles ad

    SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips and cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

    Kiss me and I'm yours.

    Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.

    Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Lab puppy.




    P.S.
    (Private Joke) The X's don't spell Fitzroy *snickers*
    As I lay there gazing up at the billions of stars above my head in complete awe of creations beauty and vastness the most pressing question on my mind about the meaning of it all was, "Where in the hell is my roof?"

  5. #11
    Member Kodos84's Avatar
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    hehehe huey fitzxxxxxx, i got it ^_^

    I can't think of a joke right now. But here's a really old and funny flash movie that i can't get enough of. (Warning: Not for people against violence towards cartoons )

  6. #12
    Fukushima hybrid gopher givemfitz's Avatar
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    First Grade . . . true story. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me, sir but may I have some of that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking Pig!"
    As I lay there gazing up at the billions of stars above my head in complete awe of creations beauty and vastness the most pressing question on my mind about the meaning of it all was, "Where in the hell is my roof?"

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