strangest, but funny quotes

twilitezone911

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what is the strangest , but funny quote (s)you heard from someone said? it can be in your personal life, entertainment fields (movies, tv., or celebrates) politics, religion, etc.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but ugliness is to the bone !
kiss my grits!
once i am done with kindergarten, i am going to find me a wife!
i am a legend in my own mind !
why would you give a potato a jacket ?
if you got me, who got you ?
anyone who goes to a psychiatrist outto have their head examined ?
if i could drop dead right down right now, i'll be the happiest man alive !
a hospital is no place to be sick !
i'll willing to admit that i may always be right, but i am never wrong !
i knew i was going to on the wrong train, so i left early !
if you come to fork on the road, take it!
if lincoln was alive today, he roll over his grave !
if you had to do your life over again, do over sea !
was it you or your bother that was killed in the war ?
 
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.

Don't worry about temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
 
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